I am a scaredy-cat. On top of that, I’ve got one hell of a wild and wicked imagination. I don’t need to see you in some intensely creepy Hollywood-grade costume because no matter how not creepy the getup might be, my imagination will tell me otherwise.
I don’t like frogs whether animated or real. I refer to this as my ‘kokaphobia’. I’m not exactly sure where this fear came from but I’ve always found them revolting and always want to throw up whenever I see one (don’t even talk to me about sophomore year in Biology class when we had to work with them and I was group leader).
I don’t like horror films – specifically when the narrative is told from the perspective of the prey… but weirdly enjoy it when it’s from the perspective of the hunter (witchy movies, helloooo?). Again, one hell of a ridiculous imagination I have.
I don’t like tight spaces (claustrophobia, anyone?). I’m a big person who’s had asthma since birth and getting stuck in tight spaces makes me feel as if I can’t get air in my lungs. I think this fear stems from childhood. One of my recurring nightmares growing up was being stuck in between the corner of a wall and some bigger than life-size statue and no amount of screaming can somehow attract the people moving and gossiping around the place to get me out of that tiny space. Not sure what the psychology is behind that nightmare but I’ll just put that off as a simple nightmare and not overthink anymore than I already do.
I fear losing the very few magical beings I hold near and dear to me (I doubt this needs further explanation).
I fear being silenced – no – scratch that. I’ve been told to keep my silence and to ‘behave’ so as not to offend anyone by my words and maintain peace and calm in an ecosystem. I fear being so used to the silence that I lose myself in the process – my freedom to think, speak and be my own self.
I fear the unknown, the uncertain. The abyss. It paralyzes me.
I fear losing my music and what ability I have of writing. It’s my source of sanity. If I lose them, I fear I’ve more to fear.
I fear that if I face a boggart it won’t take the shape of something grotesque – I fear it will take the likeness of me and it’ll be like looking into a mirror.
I fear what I can do once I stop fearing what I can do.
I guess, who and what I fear most is… Me.
From This Suok 