An introduction – nay, ‘excuse’ – to my absence, my lack of posts:
April 15th, I celebrated my 29th birthday. Alas! The last stretch of my twenties has officially begun and am now left to wonder what else is ‘out there’.
My twenties haven’t been easy. As a matter of fact, to say ‘it’s been a pain’ would be quite the understatement. Each year, a new challenge has come up to shape me up and tear me down and put me back together again. No, my twenties – so far – hasn’t been all bad. It has, of course, had its fair share of loveliness that’s allowed me to withstand and survive each year.
This has brought me to my own version of ‘Life is a balance’. It’s not exactly original but, allow me to explain:
I believe everything in life ultimately balances itself out. For example, if you’ve had a bad morning, to balance it out, the gods, fate or whatever you believe in, will come together and make sure you’re going to have a good, or at the very least decent, evening. This ‘balancing out’ comes in every version of the bookends. It’s in every hour, every day, every week, every month, every year. If you’ve had a not-so-good start of year, trust that you’re going to breathe a sigh of relief at the end of the year. It will balance itself out.
This is something I’ve come to believe in as my introvert self continues to contemplate over life, its inner workings and intricacies. It’s not so much an out but more of a saving grace. This allows to me have something I turn to whenever life sneaks up on me and shows me I’m not in control of things – really, of anything. I learned to just take deep breaths, pause, and tell myself, ‘it’ll balance itself out’.
About a week after my 29th, a new concept popped up in my orbit. I read Leslie Odom Jr’s book, Failing Up. A lovely, enlightening, uplifting book. There’s a bit that talks about Saturn’s Return and I was immediately intrigued (as I have an interest for things that are not necessarily within this atmosphere we exist in). The book eventually explains that since Saturn takes approximately 29.5 years to complete its orbit around the sun, your 29th will be the first time ever that Saturn’s been back in that same spot it was when you were born. This cosmic activity is often thought to bring about significant changes in life. Taken with a grain of salt, I thought deeply about this.
There’s no denying that the 29th year, the last of your 20s, your last go at being a pseudo-adult, is meant to bring in a tidal wave of changes. Bookends, remember?
However, it’s good to keep in mind that whatever those changes are, they are left entirely to however you perceive and accept them to be. So, it’s best to make the most out of it – something we always hear but needs to be repeated constantly.
Breathe through it. Breathe through your highs and lows. Breathe through your laughter and suppressed pain (please know you’re not alone). Breathe through all your endeavors. However cosmic or minute the bookends may be.
From This Suok 